Confounding The Medicos

I’ve been writing a lot recently about how things have been changing for me in a very positive direction.

One of those positive directions is my physical health. When I was in the middle of dealing with my PTSD issues, I would go in for my annual checkup. I really trust my doctor, but I also have “white coat syndrome” from childhood issues with a very scary and unsafe doctor. Those were the issues I was currently dealing with. So my blood pressure would be higher than usual in the doctor’s office.

Over several years my blood pressure had been getting a little higher, so the doc had put me on a minimal dose of BP medication.

When I went in for my physical 3 years ago, the nurse took my BP, got a really shocked look on her face. She waited a few minutes, took it again. Got a second nurse to take it. Then the doc came in and took my BP. The alarm – my blood pressure was scary high! It was super scary, but my intuition said it was because I was in the middle of PTSD issues.

The doctor increased my dosage of BP medication, and added a small dose of a second medication.

The result:

I did a lot of work on my PTSD issues, and things began to resolve. I kept track of my BP, and it began to fall into the normal range again. I kept a log for a month, and tracked the results, sent those to my doctor.

I had my annual physical in May, and the doctor agreed I could discontinue the BP medications, weaning myself gradually. He was a bit baffled but said “you’ve done this on your own” meaning the PTSD work I did.

I have been off all BP medications since the end of May, and my BP is steady at 120/80.

My health insurance company has kept calling me because apparently there is no easy check box for “Discontinued BP medication.” You can just hear the puzzlement in their voices.

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Dramatic Shift!

For the last several years, I have been dealing with core C-PTSD issues that revolved around my grandmother. She was a nurse who worked for a super scary doctor. She used his scary presence to threaten me with terrible harm if I disobeyed her. I learned – doctors are to be feared!

I’ve had what I have heard called “white coat syndrome” for a long time. Just being in a doctor’s office causes me to become hypervigilant and terrified.

I have an excellent doctor I go to for my annual physical. I trust this doctor implicitly. A couple of years ago when I went to see him in the middle of the PTSD, I would be in sheer terror all out of proportion to the current situation. The typical readings they take, which had been normal for years, were suddenly extremely elevated. It was uncanny.

Over the last year, I have been resolving the impact of those issues with my grandmother. One of the biggest signals – I stopped using sugar. That had been my way to deal with the fear during the abuse, and for many years afterward.

Today, I went for my annual physical. It was a dramatically different situation.

The whole thing was a non-event, and caused me no distress. I went into the doctor’s office, and my readings were perfectly normal again.

As we did the physical, the doctor said “well you certainly are younger than your age!”

I know – I feel it!

When I left, he said “Congratulations, you won the Healthiest Patient of The Day” award. We both smiled.

I get deeper perspective about how much the healing process has worked through events like this.

It was an incredibly empowering moment!

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