Posts Tagged ‘Inner Child’

“A Writer’s Journey of Inspiration.” Dan L. Hays revisits the major turning points in his quest to write and publish a book, and builds the strength to believe in his writing.

Published in Life As A Human.

Photo Credit:

“Inspiration” photosteve101 @ flickr.com Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

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“The Fear And The Light.” A writer struggles to uncover and release deep childhood fears that are hampering his ability to write and publish.

Published in Life As A Human.

Photo Credit:

“Deprivation” Jeremy @ Flickr.com Creative Commons.  Some Rights Reserved.

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“I Can Have You Committed!” An author writes an inner child exercise, and discovers a threat by his grandmother when he was eight years old that locked up his writing for many years.

Published in Life As A Human.

Photo Credit:

“Henry Hobson Richardson 1870 Buffalo State Asylum Buffalo NY 1332″ Bobistraveling @ Flickr.com Creative Commons.  Some Rights Reserved.

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“They’ll Call You Crazy – And Lock You Up!” An author, frustrated by a seemingly unbreakable writer’s block, tries an unconventional writing exercise. He discovers an unexpected origin to the block.

Published in Life As A Human.

Photo credit:

“Big Chain” Shaycam @flickr.com. Creative Commons.  Some rights reserved.

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I am excited to host September’s Carnival Against Child Abuse.

This blog carnival’s mission is to raise awareness about the serious issue of child abuse. All forms of abuse–physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual, verbal–are discussed. We highlight blog posts to child abuse survivor stories and their art & poetry, child abuse as a topic in the news media, as well as PTSD, dissociation and other areas of the abuse “aftermath” that adult survivors are forced to deal with. We link to hopeful posts about therapy, recovery and healing from abuse. All forms of child advocacy and awareness are included.

The theme this month is Inner Child.

As I have moved along my journey to healing, the concept of the inner child has been extremely important.  As I have shared about it, others have echoed that sentiment!  We will honor our inner child, and share how they have been a part of our path to healing!

Please submit anything related to inner child and child abuse. As always, you do not have to limit yourself to this month’s theme. All submissions are welcome.

Submissions are due by Wednesday, September 15 and I will publish on Friday, September 17.

Submit at: Blog Carnival Submissions

On the submission page you will be asked to pick a category of: Advocacy & Awareness; Aftermath; Art Therapy; Healing & Therapy; In the News; Poetry; or Survivor Stories. Your blog itself does not need to be about child abuse, just the post you are submitting. Feel free to submit older articles and/or more than one article.

I look forward to receiving and presenting your submissions! Please spread the word!


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“Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.  If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.”

Wait – what’s this about dying?  Am I going to die?  Who said anything about that?  That sounds really scary!


Who would say this prayer to a six year old child?

I’ve struggled with a sleep disorder since I was very young.  I’m working on the issues around sleeping and safety late at night involving some abuse by my grandmother.  But this prayer every night sure didn’t help things.

I remember when I was 8 years old, going to see the movie “The Blob” with Steve McQueen, and for months after, looking under the bed to make sure there weren’t monsters or blobs under there.

I would get into a panic when I couldn’t go to sleep, and go ask my Mom if I could stay home from school if I couldn’t sleep.  She would generally agree, and then I’d fall asleep and be disappointed when I felt rested enough to go to school the next day.

But I just ran across a reference to this prayer in my journal.  I seem to remember it was said to me every night – it may have been something my grandparents said to my parents, and my parents just passed along without thinking about it too much.  It was intended to be an innocent prayer, I guess, of assurance that God would take care of us.  But the “If I should die” part seems like a totally insane thing to say to a small child.

I guess it still bothers me, because upon reading about this prayer, I immediately sat down to write this blog post.


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My Inner Child

A good friend emailed me a while back and asked about my experience of the “inner child” on my road to healing.  My inner child, who I called Little Danny, was an integral part of the book I had written, “Freedom’s Just Another Word.”  My friend wondered if my experience of that inner child had changed over the years, or if that child was still a part of me in some ways.  Here’s how I characterized it:

My sponsor in one of the 12 step programs several times said that when a person goes through a traumatic event, the ego freezes at the age the person was when the trauma took place.  Pretty psychological, but it certainly felt like what I experienced.  It was the essence of Little Danny.  Either an 8 year old, a 14 year old or a 17 year old, the ages of my major traumas.  And my process was releasing that old frozen ego and allowing myself to mature like I didn’t do at the time, yet also honoring Little Danny.  I learned after a while that my abandonment fears are resident within him, and I have to get him to “buy in” to things I am doing, or he rebels, digs in his heels, and says “like hell you will!”  I vividly remember driving north from Houston to do a sweat lodge to release some old traumas, and having to explain to Little Danny that I wouldn’t abandon him as I did that work.
I’ve found that when he understands what’s happening and I treat him like the bright, intuitive and gifted child he was/is, he goes along.  And my recovery gets better.  But it has also been my experience that he doesn’t go away, nor do I want him to, but he just doesn’t run my life in dysfunctional ways any more.  My sponsor used to talk a lot about parenting the child, and I’ve had to learn to do that.  I hear an interesting comment one time.  A woman said something along these lines.  “I hear everyone talking about the inner child, and how great and wonderful it is to get in touch with that child.  But for me, there’s the other side of the coin, that when that child gets out of control, she’s gotten me into a lot of trouble.  I want to honor that child, but not let them run the household any more!”  I thought there was great balance in that – kind of like inventory work where you turn a character defect into a character strength, but using it more appropriately.  So – my cognitive thinking skills don’t get overused and thrown back at me as “you’re so darn analytical all the time!”  It works better if I listen to my inner child, but don’t always let him run things!

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