One time I heard someone talk about having Balcony People in your life – people who were in the balcony cheering you on, and pulling you up by their positive encouragement. I later realized that I had allowed into my life a number of Basement People – people who were trying to pull me down into the muck of their unhappiness as I was trying to climb out and away from that dynamic. So I had to write the following poem.
(Written October 16, 1986)
To The Basement People
You choose to stay in prison,
Behind the wall that you create.
You say that you are happy,
But your eye is filled with hate.
I choose to seek my freedom,
You do not understand.
I follow inner guidance,
Not every move is planned.
I need less your approval,
You feel me pull away.
Expending every effort,
You try to make me stay.
My freedom is convicting,
It says so much to you.
If I am free to come and go,
Then so, perhaps, are you.
But also with the freedom,
You’re aware there is a cost.
To take a risk, have less control,
It’s what you fear the most.
So not to leave your prison,
You try to limit me.
You undermine me all the time,
My efforts to be free.
By sowing little seeds of doubt,
Among my growth and gains.
You take away the awful sting,
Of your own prison chains.
I took it for so many years,
Allowed you to control.
But farewell, you prisoner,
For God has freed my soul.
Thoughts Along The Road to Healing 
Wow! Sounds very similar to an experience that I went through with one of my best friends when I started to write my blog articles almost 3 years ago. She hated that I was sharing my heart and soul online with people that she didn’t know. What she really hated was that I was again moving forward in my journey and she wasn’t. Our friendship almost didn’t last because of her fears.
We are still friends but some things are different. That saddens me and we both made choices that changed who we are and how we relate to each other. I don’t know if she even sees the changes. I am aware that I don’t share as much of myself with her as I used to. She recently advised me to not share so much of myself and my thoughts on my blog. She has so many fears.
I had the naive belief for a long time that if I grew and healed, people would want that. But it’s like Darlene said so aptly one time – it’s like crabs in the boiling pot. If one of the crabs tries to crawl out, the other crabs will pull them back in! Interesting that we find another common point – I hear that resistance in your friend to your healing process. I hear that your friendship has shifted and is not the same. Sounds like she is trying to silence you, which yes, is her fears talking. I’ve had to separate from several friends along the way – even long time recovery friends. We just grew apart when they stopped moving in their journey, and I started to realize they were trying to pull me back into the pot! Amazing how many times you and I find such remarkably similar experiences! Dan
Yes, the similarities are amazing between you and I.
My friend has finally in the past few months started moving forward in her own journey so the friendship may survive my growing. We will see. I still love her dearly. I just don’t trust her in the same way that I once did.
Wonderful that your friend is moving forward! I have two recovery friends who I have known for more than 20 years, who stepped aside from the journey, and I had to step away from them. Even in recovery some people don’t continue! Very sad! But I understand how you don’t trust your friend as you once did – it takes a long time to get past it when someone tries that hard to stop you from your healing!
Dan, I notice that your title for this post is “To The Basement People,” but at the top of your poem you have the title “To The Balcony People.” Is that a typo? I’m a bit confused by that.
As for the poem itself, oh yes, I relate. Very much so. Thank you for sharing this.
Elaina – LOL – thanks for pointing that out! I just changed it. I hope that was an unintended slip indicating I’m more focused on the Balcony People now! 🙂 I thought you’d relate! You’re welcome!
Yes, that makes sense, actually… that it was an unintended slip because your focus is now on the Balcony People cheering you on.
I have to think so, Elaina! We did a radio show recently called “Surrounding Yourself With Supportive People,” and it was talking about the Balcony People! 🙂
Maybe your heart needs to write a poem of gratitude to the Balcony People?
Could be. Thanks for sharing.